I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
