just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
