I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
