its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
