imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Someone came in the potted fern
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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