After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
