community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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