Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
