Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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