Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize
