I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
