i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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