i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
