I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
