Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
