She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
