you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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