I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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