went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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