He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
