As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
