I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he puts the penis in happiness.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
