too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
