it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you will always have a special place in my vag
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
