some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
