Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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