Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
