So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
