farters have to be the big spoon...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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