....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
