So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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