I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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