Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
