im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
