You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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