i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
