I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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