chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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