I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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