nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
