dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Welp...herpes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
