ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
