We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
