I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Its about making memories worth repressing
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
