party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
