So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
