I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
