Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
