So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
