At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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